


Discordant Harmony

by Hydr4gon (Arceus6892)



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Cute, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-25 22:45:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12542912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arceus6892/pseuds/Hydr4gon
Summary: A startling and unexpected question throws Tsukasa's whole perspective off balance.  Unable to properly respond, he inadvertently creates a discomforting atmosphere between himself and the person he most wants to impress.A bittersweet one-shot with Ritsu and Tsukasa from Enstars.





	Discordant Harmony

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! My name is Hydr4gon or Arceus6892 if you know me from the Smash fandom. Not long after I started Enstars, I fell in love with Ritsukasa. Although there aren't many people who are interested in this ship, I absolutely adore them and hope more people will feel the same! So for anyone who reads this, whether you are already interested or are just curious about the relationship, I am honored that you would take the time to read my story. Thank you very much!

Tsukasa blankly stared back, his mouth agape and eyes wide.  His face felt hotter than it had ever been, and no matter how many times he attempted to speak, the words wouldn't come out.  His legs suddenly felt like jelly, and his clammy hands clutched the bag of unopened chips he had just bought, probably crushing a few of the pieces in the process.  
  
As a few more long seconds of silence passed between the two, he could tell Ritsu was starting to feel equally uncomfortable.  He nervously coughed into his hand, averting his eyes as his cheeks grew just as red.  
  
"...Juuuust kidding," Ritsu finally spoke, attempting a nonchalant smile to break the uneasy atmosphere.  "Pretty good, right...?  I really got you with that one. Fufu, what a funny look you have on~"  
  
Ritsu mischievously grinned at the other, who continued to remain statue still, the color completely drained from his face as his expression remained unchanged.  Starting to frown, Ritsu cautiously reached his hand over to poke him gently in the shoulder, being careful not to accidentally knock him over.  
  
" _J-Joke_?" Tsukasa managed, accidentally slipping into English. "Eh...?  Ah...Yes!  Of course!!  Kuaaa, how vexing!!!  To pull such an _indecent_ trick is...!"  
  
However, even as Tsukasa tried to properly scold him, he was too flustered to be able to come up with any words.  Instead, he reached into his bag and stuffed his face with chips, letting the loud, crunching sounds fill the silence in his place.  As he gazed over at Ritsu's half-turned head, wearing a blank expression with his eyes still looking away from him, he couldn't help but be suspicious.  If it really were a joke, would he not still be teasing him?  Even for Ritsu, this kind of trick was too cruel.  Fueled by frustration, he began to lecture him, his voice rising with every word as he continued to sneak chips into his mouth between sentences.  However, as he continued to scold him, Ritsu looked nothing less of disinterested in what he had to say.  He yawned as he played with the buttons on his uniform, his eyes anywhere but at Tsukasa.  
  
"...Ah, um," Tsukasa flusteredly spoke.  "Ritsu-senpai, would you kindly look at me when I am talking to you?"  
  
Tsukasa moved around to match Ritsu's direction, but he flipped his head the other way around.  He once again moved to match his gaze, but Ritsu continued to avoid him as he crossed his arms, an annoyed look sprawled across his face.  
  
"Nope~"  
  
"Why is it that even though you were the one to make such an unfair joke, you would be angry at me?  I believe I have every right to be upset!  So the least you can do for me is provide me with your attention as I painstakingly teach you the manners you appear to be lacking-"  His words were cut off by Ritsu's groan as he vigorously shook his head, his eyebrows still knitted together.  He was quickly starting to regret his words, and staying here was only making him more and more annoyed.  Although his response pained him, he couldn't tell whether he was angrier at Tsukasa or at himself for thinking he felt the same way.  
  
His crimson eyes glared down at him, his icy stare cutting any incoming words short.  When Tsukasa matched his gaze, he felt the temperature suddenly turn frigid.  He could hear his own heart beating against his chest, almost as strongly as it had been only a few minutes earlier.  The tension was too much for the young idol to bear, but his words remained stuck in his throat.  He once again tightly clutched the bag of chips, tempted to sneak in some more snacks to calm his nerves.  A part of him hoped someone would show up, be it one of the other Knights, a classmate, anyone at all—Just some kind of intervention to make the current situation more tolerable.  However, he knew there was little chance someone would show up; class was long since over, and the moon was starting to show itself among the dark clouds covering the sky.  His driver was surely long finished with alerting his parents.  He knew he had to leave, but somehow he couldn't find the will to move.  If he didn't say anything now to break the atmosphere, he would have failed his part.  Even if it scares him, he won't run away.  
  
"Ritsu-senpai," Tsukasa spoke, softening his tone as a worried look became etched into his face.  "What you said earlier, that...that wasn't a joke.  You were serious, weren't you? ...About saying that you like me."  
  
Ritsu's expression remained stone cold, but his attention wavered.  His eyes wandered off towards the school, appearing lost in thought and not offering a response to his question.  
  
"...Ritsu-senpai," Tsukasa pleaded.  Finally he turned back around.  
  
"...Does it matter?" he quietly spoke, asking as if he was forcing himself to say the words.  
  
"Yes, of course!  I do not completely understand it, but...If it is true, I wish to understand.  I do not wish for such a thing like this to come between us.  I...I would like to take some time to sort out my own thoughts on the matter.  Does that sound agreeable?"  When he was met with more silence, Tsukasa hesitantly took a couple steps away from him, anxiously glancing in the general direction his chauffeur was surely waiting.  
  
"With that said, I really do have to hurry, so please excuse me..."  He took a few more steps, but he kept glancing over at Ritsu as if asking for permission to leave.  It would be utmost rude of him to leave him in such a state, but he was not sure what he could do to make the situation any better.  Ritsu's expression remained hollow and his face darkened.  Seeing him like this was too painful to bear, so Tsukasa tentatively walked back over, offering the only thing he had to give: his chips.  
  
"While I cannot grant you an answer, it would be an honor if you would take these delectable chips as compensation."  Ritsu stared blankly at the bag of chips pointed towards his chest, watching them steadily withdraw towards an embarrassed Tsukasa.  His hands were shaking as he held them out.  Tsukasa felt a wave of relief when he took them from him, presenting him with a small smile in return.  
  
"...Thanks."  
  
"Y-Yes, of course!  They are simply _marvelous_...!  Do they not wipe your troubles away?  Ah, perhaps I can one day introduce you to some of my favorite candies and snacks-"  His cheeks started to flush when he felt a hand patting his head.  He looked up to see a smiling Ritsu teasing him as Tsukasa started to pout about being treated like a child.  
  
"Didn't you say you had to leave~?"  
  
"That's right...Is it alright to take off then?"  
  
"Why are you asking me...?"  
  
"Because I do not wish to leave matters unresolved.  I may not be able to provide much consolation, but I feel it is my duty to make sure that none of my comrades are ill at ease."  As Tsukasa stood with confidence and an air of pride, Ritsu couldn't help but chuckle at his cute image.  
  
"Said like a true knight~  You better hurry off before you get eaten by a hungry vampire...♪"  That was enough warning to get Tsukasa back on his feet and running, bidding him farewell as he offered one last, reassuring smile before taking off.  Ritsu watched his figure disappear before letting out a sigh.  He gave a quick glance towards the school before heading back in its direction.  He wasn't too eager to head home just yet because that brother of his will be waiting, so he decided he'll stop by the music room for a little bit.  The sound of the piano is sure to help get his mind off things.    
  
Yet even as he tried to distract himself, Ritsu couldn't shake his selfish thoughts of wishing to keep Tsukasa all for himself.

* * *

Tsukasa shifted nervously from across the studio, carefully eyeing the sleeping idol resting comfortably in his bed the producer made for him.  He's been asleep since he walked in, but somehow it still felt uncomfortable.  Ever since yesterday, he has yet to stop wondering about what he had confessed to him yesterday.  It was only until this morning that it dawned on him that the signs were there; lately, Ritsu has been hanging around him more often, using him as a pillow, taking blood from him as he pleased, and not to mention going out of his way to accompany him even when he would normally be sleeping...  
  
Before he realized it, Tsukasa had walked over to where Ritsu was sleeping, his hand reaching out towards his head.  He froze just as his hand was inches from touching him, the heat immediately rushing to his face.  
  
_Wh-What was I just about to do?_ he thought, retracting his hand instantly.  Just once, he wanted to try patting his head like he always does to him.  However, as tempting as it was, Tsukasa felt too embarrassed and scared by the possibility that he might wake up, so he decided against it.  
  
Too distracted by his own thoughts, the idol failed to notice a fallen costume in the middle of the studio and slipped, tumbling to the ground with a loud _thud_ and letting out a surprised gasp.  Luckily for him, the costume was soft and didn't cause him any injury, but the racket still woke the one he was trying so hard not to disturb.  
  
"...Nn...?" Ritsu slowly pulled himself up, rubbing his eyes as he attempted to sleepily adjust to his surroundings.  He let out a quiet yawn while stretching his arms above his head.  Tsukasa silently remained where he was, hoping that if he stayed still enough, Ritsu wouldn't notice him and go back to sleep.  Although it pained him to be in such a position that would be anything but elegant, he really didn't think he could handle another awkward encounter with Ritsu at the moment.  
  
The sleepy student glanced over at the red blur on the ground, quietly observing the figure for a bit before languidly making his way towards him.  As an expert at concealing his presence, he figured he could use that to his advantage to mess with him a little bit.  The face-down, sprawled out look was rather amusing to him, so he took this as the perfect opportunity.  He snuck up to him and carefully kneeled down beside him, leaning in close enough that his mouth was right beside his ear.  
  
"...Behind you," a low voice warned, giving Tsukasa the cue to jump up in fright.  He nearly fell over again as he hastily scrambled to his feet, frantically scanning the area with a face white as a sheet.  His frightened look turned to one of frustration when he saw that it was just Ritsu, who was trying hard to muffle his laughter with a hand over his mouth.  
  
"Kuaaa...!!!" Tsukasa's exasperated yell made Ritsu's head ring, and it only worsened when he started lecturing him again.  Unable to take the scolding right after he had just woken up, Ritsu grumbled from the floor and pulled at the ends of Tsukasa's pants, dragging him closer until he was able to reach for his tie.  Tsukasa let out a startled cry as Ritsu tugged on his tie, making him stumble over him and onto the ground.  His flustered gaze met Ritsu's, only inches away from each other's face.  
  
"Keep me warm..." Ritsu muttered, roughly grasping at his tie once more.  He looked confused when Tsukasa wouldn't budge.  His arms were shaking as he tried his best to keep his balance, his face paled and determined not to get any closer.  
  
"Let me go," Tsukasa ordered in a stern voice that he would normally use only with a stranger.  A surprised Ritsu slowly nodded, not sure what to say in response.  This wouldn't be the first time he'd done this, but Tsukasa had never reacted in such a way before.  He watched him carefully get off of him and onto his knees as he tried to cover his embarrassed expression, nervously sitting still while staring in the direction of the wall.  He didn't mean to react that way, but somehow that's what happened.  He felt like he should apologize, but the atmosphere was suddenly much too uncomfortable to be able to speak.  He tightly shut his eyes, curling his palms into fists atop his knees.  _Sena-senpai, Narukami-senpai, Leader, anyone!   Please, save this foolish Tsukasa Suou...!_  
  
Much to his luck, a familiar, friendly voice resonated throughout the studio just then.  Tsukasa immediately jumped to his feet, forgetting all his embarrassment and eagerly greeted the two other Knights.  
  
"My, my, what an enthusiastic hello!" Arashi chimed.  
  
"Narukami-senpai, Sena-senpai, welcome back!"  His cheery attitude was met with a charming smile from Arashi and a disgusted glower from Izumi.  
  
"What's with that unnecessary excitement, huuuh?  Sooo annoying!" Izumi complained, tossing the bag he had slung over one shoulder to the ground.  Arashi stood beside him, arms crossed and shaking his head.  
  
"Now now, don't be like that, Izumi-chan!  Whenever Ousama runs off like that, you become such a grouch...Your smile is so much more beautiful than your frown, so you should show it more, okay?"  He gave a little wink at the end, but that just annoyed Izumi more.  Arashi opened his arms and reached for him, but he was pushed away when he got too close.  
  
" _Leader_ is missing?!" Tsukasa interrupted, a cross look on his face as he stomped his way over.  
  
"I found him earlier, but that idiot king ran off again even though I told him we have a meeting today," Izumi explained.  "Ugh, seriously, who does that guy think he is?  There's no point in trying to find him again, so just leave him be.  Hunting him down will only waste our time when we could be having our meeting."  
  
He let out another sigh, glowering in the direction of the door as if he's expecting someone to come in any minute.  Arashi tried to comfort him again to cheer him up, but he just snapped at him some more while shooing him away.  Tsukasa remained lost in thought, angrily thinking over where their leader might be.  _How irresponsible of him, darting off the second we take our eyes off him!_ he thought, groaning under his breath.  He let out a surprised gasp when someone's fist lightly bumped against his head.  
  
"Kasa-kuuun, don't just stand there.  Get Kuma-kun moving and we'll start the meeting," Izumi said.  Tsukasa nodded and quickly apologized for his ill mannerisms, but he froze in place before he could do anything.  
  
"Ah, am I to wake him?"  
  
"Well, I'm not doing it.  Trying to wake Kuma-kun will get your arm broken off.  He doesn't protest as much when you do it, so hurry up and get him involved already."  
  
Tsukasa affirmed his decision with another nod and cautiously walked back over to Ritsu, who had rolled over onto his side and gone back to sleeping soundly.  Tsukasa stood over him and cleared his throat.  
  
"Ritsu-senpai, it is time for the meeting.  Please wake up."  No response.  
  
"Ritsu-senpai," Tsukasa tried again, raising his voice even further.  "Please wake up!"  
  
"That's it?" Izumi challenged, watching from the other side as he leaned back against the wall, his arms folded.  "No dragging him this way and that, no frantic tossing him around?  That was the one thing you were good at."  
  
"Izumi-chan, don't start bullying him again~  We can rely on you to wake him, right, Tsukasa-chan?" Arashi chimed in.  He had settled down by a table and looked preoccupied with carefully adjusting his makeup.  
  
"Even though I have been a member of Knights for a while now, am I still to carry out all the tasks of the newcomer?" Tsukasa asked aloud, but as he realized Izumi will probably call him out for being cheeky, he quickly corrected himself.  "As I am still a novice, I suppose I have no right to oppose.  Please offer your support to this Tsukasa Suou as I take on this daunting task♪"  
  
Tsukasa called out for his lazy upperclassman once more, this time carefully tugging at the sleeve of his jacket.  He stirred a little, clutching at the costume Tsukasa had tripped on earlier and resting his head against it.  The young Knight pulled at the costume, but Ritsu's grip was too strong, so the most he could do was haul him across the floor with it.  He thought out a plan as he observed Ritsu's peaceful, sleeping expression.  He found it perplexing how someone who looks like an angel when asleep can be so dangerous when awake.  Normally he wouldn't have a problem with waking him, but just being this close to him was making him a little shaky.  He figured he couldn't make the situation any worse than it already is, but his hand remained stationary atop the costume, unwilling to move any closer.  Worried that Ritsu might tug on the costume and make him fall over again, Tsukasa retracted his hand.  He knelt down to his knees, only inches from Ritsu.  His heart started beating faster again, like it would whenever he was close to him.  Even before Ritsu had confessed to him, he had these strange feelings wash over him—feelings he couldn't quite understand.  As much as he wanted to shake them away, to make them disappear, they remained implanted in his chest.  
  
While he was lost in thought, Tsukasa tuned out everything around him and had forgotten about his goal of waking up his senior for their meeting.  One small movement snapped him back into perspective.  All his senses suddenly became crystal clear—the low hum of the heater, the impatient tapping of Izumi's foot across the room, the gentle breathing of Ritsu beside him.  
  
"Ah...?" Tsukasa felt the heat rush to his face.  He looked down at the hand loosely clasping the sleeve of his uniform, just barely brushing up against his own.  He hadn't realized until now, but Ritsu had curled up next to him.  Tsukasa remained frozen like a statue, his flustered gaze pointed downwards at Ritsu's peaceful, unaware expression.  
  
"Ritsu-senpai," Tsukasa sternly called.  As flustered as he was, he needed him to wake up.  The vampire's eyes slowly opened, struggling to adjust to the light of the studio.  He peered up at the blushing idol as his brain slowly adjusted to what he was doing.  
  
"Su~chan...?  Good morning...♪" Ritsu quietly spoke, offering him a sweet smile.  His smile disappeared when he saw his confused, reddened face.  
  
"Ah..." He removed his hand from Tsukasa's sleeve and wordlessly rolled away from him.  He slowly sat up while stretching his arms above his head and yawning.  Without even glancing in his direction, he uttered a quiet 'Sorry' and got up to join the others.  Tsukasa stared blankly for a minute before following suit, a strangely hollow feeling forming inside him.  
  
Tsukasa finally rose to meet up with the rest of Knights.  By now, even Leo had returned and was laughing loudly as he scribbled music notes onto some scores Arashi provided for him.  As rowdy as he was being, Tsukasa didn't even notice that he had entered in the first place.  Even as Izumi turned to scold him for taking so long, he silently stared past him, his worried gaze targeted at the one still struggling to wake up.  
  
Ritsu turned towards him, meeting his confused glance with a cold, unfamiliar stare before turning back away.  Even though they couldn't be more than a few feet apart, the distance felt so much longer.

* * *

"...And that concludes the meeting.  Everyone got it?" Izumi declared, even though he knew only half the members really heard any of it.  Their king was still busy scribbling over the papers, Arashi had stopped to comb through his hair, and Ritsu had fallen back asleep.  The only one whose attention remained unwavered was Tsukasa, who was still sitting upright, his hands folded together on his lap as he stared directly at Izumi.  
  
"Understood!  However, perhaps it would be well advised to repeat the information once more for _Leader's_ sake-Augh?!"  He grimaced at the feeling of his cheeks being pinched in a painful manner.  
  
"What are you looking at me like that for, you cheeky brat~?  I'm not saying all that again!  It's pointless trying to talk any sense into that guy, you know?"  
  
"Guhhh, please do not treat me like a child..." Tsukasa muttered as he rubbed his cheeks.  Izumi and Arashi stood up to excuse themselves, explaining that they'll have to head off now if they are to make it on time to the gravure shoot they'll be doing later today.  Before taking off to leave, the silver-haired model rolled up a music sheet and lightly whacked his king on the head with it, annoying him for interrupting his "inspiration."  Izumi bid him farewell with a quick wave of his hand as he turned to leave, which Leo eagerly returned with an enthusiastic wave with both his hands.  
  
"Whoa, where am I?!" he suddenly yelled out, staring at Tsukasa with wide eyes like it was his first time seeing him.  
  
"Ah, Suo~ You're everywhere, huh?  Are you a wandering nomad?  Ooh, are you an omniscient god?!  Wahaha☆"  A low growl started up in the back of Tsukasa's throat, but as he wished to remain dignified, he kept his hands held tightly together and answered him in a patient tone.  
  
" _Leader_ , did you understand everything in the meeting today?"  
  
"Huuh?  Meeting?  When?  Where?"  
  
"Kuaaa, you weren't paying any attention?!  Must I reiterate everything Sena-senpai meticulously described?!"  He continued to yell at him, scolding him some more when he laughed and said it'll be more fun if he tries to figure it out on his own.  Too frustrated to stay still, Tsukasa stood to his feet and leaned over, aiming to take the markers away from him so he would pay more attention.  Unable to withstand all the racket and shaking of the table, Ritsu's eyes slowly fluttered open.  
  
"Nn...Not so loud..." he groaned, trying to burrow his head further into the table.  His complaint was ignored as the yelling continued to increase, making his head start to pound.  
  
"Rittsu!!!" Leo cheerfully exclaimed, waving to the barely conscious lump resting his head against the table.  He ignored Tsukasa's flailing over Leo's music scores and accidentally teetered backwards in his seat.  As the annoyed idol grabbed his arm, his grip on his footing also wavered, and he leaned too far for his own good.  The loud crash on the floor along with the restless rustling of papers flying in the air was enough to startle Ritsu back awake.  He let out an annoyed sigh and raised his head for long enough to look at what had just caused that disruptive noise.  
  
Tsukasa groaned and put one hand on something in front of him to prop him back up, not realizing that was Leo's face.  He let out a startled gasp when Leo abruptly chomped down onto his hand.  
  
"Ow!!!  Are you an animal?!  Please do not bite me, _Leader_!"  Leo gazed up at him with a confused look, as if he was just registering who he was.  He then let out a sudden laugh, telling him what an amusing look he has on right now.  Tsukasa appeared like he was torn between being mad, embarrassed, or apologetic.  He quickly stood up and brushed himself off, but not before confiscating his markers first.  As he rubbed the part where Leo bit him, his body froze in place when he looked up to see Ritsu's expression.  His glowering gaze made a chill run down Tsukasa's spine.  
  
Leo's grin quickly faded when he saw the pale, distressed look cast over Tsukasa's face.  He glanced over from him to Ritsu, who looked like he was getting ready to leave.  However, it was easy to tell just from the way he moved that he was upset.  
  
"Um, Ritsu-senpai-"  
  
"Ahh, well, looks like it's about to be night soon so I'll be heading off.  Later then," Ritsu interrupted, not paying any mind to Tsukasa's discomfort and brushing past him entirely.  He could feel his eyes following him out the door, urging him to return and talk things over, but he wasn't in the mood to do any more talking.  After embarrassing himself enough, he figured it would be best to just forget it ever happened.  
  
As he left the studio and was greeted with the cool outside air, he lost himself in his thoughts and didn't hear the approaching footsteps following after him.  A flash of orange appeared before him, blocking his path and almost making him lose his balance.  
  
"Rittsu, wait," Leo spoke, only to be ignored by Ritsu, who walked around him.  He nearly tripped when he pivoted towards him again.  "Whoa!  Hold on, Rittsu..."  
  
"What do you need, Ousama...?" Ritsu's tired voice gave him away, but he tried to show him an unyielding look so he would get the message.  
  
"There's something bothering you, right?  Did something happen between you and Suo~?"  
  
"That's none of your business..."  Ritsu knew Leo wasn't going to let this go when he looked at him with an unusually serious, stern expression.  
  
"You're a valuable piece in Knights, and an important comrade, but I still know so little about you.  You've survived through all the battles and wars Knights suffered through and still remained standing, pushing away any worries and always acting like nothing bothers you.  Even when I was broken down into pieces and no longer of any use as your king, you and the rest of Knights managed to stick my pieces back together and continue to honor me as your king, even though I didn't deserve it.  Yet even as I stand side by side with my comrades-in-arms, I do not know a thing about the brave knights who endured more than their king ever could.  So if you would let me, I would appreciate it if you could tell me what is bothering you so I may shoulder some of your burden, even if it's a little bit."  
  
Ritsu averted his eyes towards the ground, a blank look sprawled across his face as he contemplated Leo's offer.  He thought it was a bit ridiculous that he would put himself through all the trouble to talk to him like this.  Continuing to avoid his gaze, he gave him his reply.

* * *

It has probably been over a good few hours by now, but Tsukasa continued to stare up at his phone, waiting anxiously for a reply.  He wanted to speak with him in person, but as he was unable to find him by the time he left, he sent him a couple messages wishing to speak with him.  However, he still has yet to respond.  
  
The idol let out a sigh as he lowered his tired arms back against his bed, keeping the phone loosely wrapped between his fingers.  Even after all the time he spent thinking through his answer, he had failed to find a good time or to muster the courage to tell him.  However, seeing how he is behaving now, he was starting to reevaluate his decision.  If he told him now that it would be best to remain as they are, it would only make his situation worse.  Not only that, but even practicing saying the words was somehow painful for him.  
  
_I do not wish to hurt you,_ _Ritsu-senpai,_ Tsukasa rehearsed, his eyes steadily closing on him.  _However, I am afraid I cannot return your sentiment towards me.  I dearly hope that this will not create any animosity towards myself because I wish for us to continue as comrades, fighting side-by-side with a good distance from one another.  Keeping an appropriate distance, not any closer..._  
  
An image of Ritsu's shocked, hauntingly lonely expression from earlier crossed his mind and Tsukasa paused, narrowing his eyebrows as he tried to concentrate on what he would say next.  
  
_It would simply not be appropriate.  Not only are you also a man, but you are a comrade, and comrades on the battlefield cannot bring these hindrances with them into the war zone.  Please understand that this is not because I wish to hurt you..._  
  
Tsukasa inadvertently clutched his open hand together like he was reaching for something.  He could feel Ritsu's warmth from before, his sweet smile making all his worries disappear.  He shook his head in frustration as he turned onto his side, checking his phone again for any new messages.  A hollow emptiness filled him when he saw that there was still nothing.  He closed his eyes again, trying to remember where he left off.  
  
_This really is for the best.  Given my family situation as well, it would be incredibly difficult and impractical to start such a thing to begin with...It really is for the best.  Please, do not be upset...I do not wish to be the cause of your distress.  Please, Ritsu-senpai.  If you would understand my position...I am honored you would feel such a way, but I...I do not...feel...that way...I deeply apologize for the...disappointment..._  
  
Tsukasa brought his knees to his chest, tightly closing his eyes and trying to make all his thoughts of Ritsu disappear.  He couldn't stand it—he didn't want to think about this anymore.  The whole thing seemed so painful, so cruel.  To witness Ritsu open up his heart for him only to have it torn apart into bloody shreds.  And yet, somehow it seemed like his own heart was being disemboweled.  He clutched desperately at his chest, wrinkling his shirt in his hands.  
  
"Ritsu-senpai...will you ever forgive me?" Tsukasa quietly managed, staring blankly at a blurry image of the phone before him.

* * *

Without remembering how or when it happened, Tsukasa woke up sometime in the middle of the night with his phone stuck to his face.  The only reason he had woken up in the first place was because he had set his phone on vibrate.  Feeling dizzy and a bit disoriented from the sudden arousal, he rubbed his eyes for a bit and squinted at the bright device shining a beam of light through the pitch-black room.  His heart skipped a beat when he saw the respondent's name.  
  
He quickly snatched up his phone and shakily checked for his reply.  He immediately regretted picking it up so fast because he was starting to feel even more dizzy after reading the response.  
  
'We have nothing left to talk about,' was all that was written.  Tsukasa hastily typed up another reply, but even after several minutes of waiting, there was nothing.  He assumed he was either busy or simply too angry to answer him, but he couldn't let this be the way they see each other from now on.  As strangers—no more, no less.  The very thought of it was too much to bear.  
  
Without giving it much thought, Tsukasa grabbed a coat and quietly left the room, hoping no one will be awake to see him leave.

* * *

The melody from the piano filled the empty room with something beautiful.  He had stayed longer than he had anticipated, but he needed some kind of distraction.  He appreciated Leo's help from earlier, but he thought he would be better off dealing with his problems alone for at least a little longer.  The glow from his phone was still etched into his mind, so he flipped it over and put it off to the side.  
  
He almost didn't hear the faint knock at the door to the music room.  Assuming it must be Kunugi-sensei coming in to tell him it's time to leave, he sighed and allowed the room to revert back to silence.  
  
"I'll be out in a minute...Huh?"  His body stopped in place when he saw a familiar, apologetic idol hesitantly entering the room.  
  
"Please excuse the intrusion," he spoke, bowing before steadily making his way towards his senior.  "I am aware that it is rather late, so please at least allow me to speak with haste."  
  
"There's nothing I need to hear," Ritsu dryly replied.  "You're so persistent...how did you even get here, anyway?  Is there something you need from me that badly?"  
  
"How I made it here is of no importance...May I sit down?" Tsukasa pointed to the piano bench as he looked to Ritsu for approval, who gave in with a sigh.  He sat down at the very end, but the distance felt a bit unsettling.  A part of him wanted to move closer, but he was worried Ritsu would not react too kindly to such a bold action.  
  
"...Are you upset with me?" Tsukasa tentatively asked.  When he received no response, he assumed he was correct.  
  
"If I may," he spoke, attempting to make his voice more stern and assertive.  "What is it that I did wrong?  Perhaps it is something I can improve on."  
  
"Ahh~  Su~chan is so oblivious, it's really quite awful~"  
  
"Eh?  Ah, have I once again said something impertinent?  Please forgive me, I am still but a novice."  He stayed quiet for a moment as Ritsu started to play.  Tsukasa smiled at the beautiful sounds, losing himself for a moment in the melody.  
  
"...You play rather nicely, Ritsu-senpai," he said once the song was over.  Ritsu didn't offer a response, but his expression seemed to soften.  Tsukasa took another look at the gap between them and discreetly moved a little closer.  
  
"Ritsu-senpai.  Please excuse me for my ill manners but...if I may, I would be honored if you would tell me what is bothering you."  
  
"You won't even bother to figure it out, so there's no point in going out of my way to explain, right?"  
  
"If that's the case, please grant me some of your time and hear me out."  Ritsu stopped playing and looked at Tsukasa, his expression grave.  Tsukasa tried to give him a weak smile to lighten the mood, but his face remained unyielding.  
  
"We have known each other for some time now..." Tsukasa started.  "But this must be the first time things have become like this.  I do not wish for this to continue, so I shall promptly put an end to any discomfort and grant you the answer I meant to provide you with earlier."  He took a deep breath and confidently looked him in the eyes.  However, the irritated expression he expected to see was replaced with something much more heartbreaking.  It was as if he already knew what he was about to say next, and his eyes told him that there was no need to continue.  However, Tsukasa mustered the courage to keep going.  
  
"I do not wish to hurt you, Ritsu-senpai," he began, his voice quieter than before.  "However, I am afraid...I cannot..."  
  
"...You don't need to force yourself, you know..." Ritsu quietly replied, stopping Tsukasa before he could keep going.  
  
"It is alright.  You deserve to know my reasons.  As I was saying, I..." He glanced back at the wide space between them and paused.  "...Ritsu-senpai, if you would permit it, may I move a little closer?"  
  
"Mm?  Yeah, of course~"  Tsukasa inched slightly closer, but that didn't seem to make much of a difference, so he kept going.  It was only until he saw Ritsu right next to him that he realized he'd moved too far.  
  
"Ah, my apologies, is this uncomfortable?" he asked, his cheeks a little flushed.  Ritsu smiled and shook his head.  
  
"It's fine~  You were saying?"  
  
"Right.  While I cannot return your...ah, no, that's...that's not right.  What I mean is, such a relationship would surely be inappropriate..."  
  
"Su~chan.  I understand, there's no need to rub salt in my wounds, okay?  You don't have to explain yourself to me."  
  
"No, please listen to me..."  His attention faltered, and Ritsu seemed to noticed.  He asked what was wrong, but Tsukasa didn't answer.  Even saying the words were too painful for him.  Everything he had rehearsed sounded hollow, like he was trying to force himself to say something he didn't mean.  Sitting next to Ritsu like this, feeling that same, warm feeling creeping back into his chest, he wondered if what he had thought through was really the right decision.  It seemed so in his head, but being right beside him was making his heart pound so much that it was beginning to be difficult to remember why he decided it wouldn't work.  Everything he told himself and everything that he feels keeps clashing together, making it impossible to figure out which is the correct answer.  
  
"...Please forgive me, I seem to have lost my train of thought..."  
  
"Take your time.  I'll just play in the meantime..."  As Ritsu aligned his fingers with the keys, a slight tug on his sleeve redirected his attention to Tsukasa.  
  
"Perhaps this is a bold suggestion to make," Tsukasa started, his heart racing faster than he had thought possible.  "But I wish to understand something.  Would you permit me that opportunity?"  
  
"Fufu, alright~  What is it you wish to know?"  Tsukasa's grip on Ritsu's arm held steady, his confused face looking up at Ritsu's, as if he was waiting for him to figure it out for him.  His heart started to speed up as well, and just to see if he wasn't misinterpreting, he moved his hand up to Tsukasa's cheek and gently brushed his thumb against it.  He kept his thumb beside his lips, looking to Tsukasa to see if he was mistaken.  The young idol's flustered face stared back.  He didn't flinch or turn away, but was looking at Ritsu expectantly.  Quickly showing him a sweet smile, Ritsu leaned in and gently brushed his lips against Tsukasa's.  Tsukasa's grip on Ritsu's arm strengthened, gradually lowering itself over his hand as Ritsu pulled away.  
  
"...Your flustered look is really cute," Ritsu teased, even though he was probably blushing just as much.  
  
"...Yours as well," Tsukasa quietly replied, embarrassing the both of them even further.  Ritsu intertwined his fingers with Tsukasa's, gently rubbing his thumb with his own.  
  
"Is this really alright with you...?" he hesitantly asked, averting his eyes again.  He felt a wave of relief wash over him when Tsukasa affirmed it with a confident nod.  
  
"I must admit, I am rather worried for the consequences, but this type of thing is something I would wish to explore with no one other than you, Ritsu-senpai.  Even if I am scared or feel like I want to run away, I would be honored if I can take upon this challenge with the person I most admire."  Tsukasa showed him an earnest smile as he squeezed his hand.  
  
"Ritsu-senpai, my answer...is that I like you, too.  I would be very honored to be your partner."  He leaned in to give him one more sweet kiss, tightly holding onto his hand, not wanting to let go.  Ritsu squeezed his hand back as he pulled away from the kiss, that soft smile of his putting Tsukasa at ease.  He abruptly pulled Tsukasa into an embrace, tightly bringing him into his chest.  
  
He knew that from this day on, he can be his to spoil.  Seeing his cute smile and affection directed at him made him want to hold onto him harder.  He wouldn't let anything or anyone make him unhappy as long as he's with him.  
  
Su~chan's precious smile was something he vowed to protect.


End file.
